Meals on Squeals:
Vegetarian Cuisine in Under 50 Seconds

"When are they going to invent nutrition pills, so we won't have to eat food anymore"?
--Mr. Squeals, ca. 1996

Squeals is your average unemployed Computer Geek in many ways. One thing that makes him unique, though, is his dietary habits. Squeals is a vegetarian, and manages to subsist mainly on bread. Here are a few of Squeals' favorite recipes.

Buy some apples at  the grocery store. Take one out of the bag. Eat it. Voilą. If you have enough light, you might try growing an apple tree of your own at home. That way, you wouldn't even have to go to the store! WARNING: you may have to water this tree, if you can't hire someone to do it for you.

Bread is good. If you have a bread machine, that's even better; you don't have to leave the house as often. Sometimes bread tastes good with butter and vegemite. Mostly it's just fine by itself.

If you are feeling ambitious, couscous is the meal for you! Boil some water, put in the couscous and let it sit for 5 minutes. Serve with bread and an apple.