Five Hundred Question Test

1. What brand of tooth paste?
Aquafresh

2. Shampoo + Conditioner in one ... or separate?
Separate.

3. What Brands?
Not picky.

4. What flavor dental floss: Mint, cinnamon, bubble gum, or regular?
Regular.

5. Do you roll your socks, pull them up, or ?
Pull them up.

6. Toilet paper: wad or fold?
I've never really throught about it.

7. Do you know Donald Ducks middle name?
No.

8. Favorite color?
Blue.

9. Summer footwear: sandals or nothing?
Sandals.

10. Apples, oranges, or bananas?
oranges and bananas

11. Lefty or Righty?
righty

12. Glass is half-empty or half-full?
both

13. Bleh or blah?
Blah. It is a word, not a sound.

14. What do you like about yourself?
I'm a nice guy.

15. Would you ever wear Taz boxers?
I don't wear boxers.

16. Do you sing in the shower?
Not unless there is music.

17. Do you talk to your pet?
No, but I talk to other people's pets.

18. Do you talk to yourself?
All the time.

19. Do you have a secret crush on your dentist?
Yes, she's awesome! How did you know?

20. Do you know your mailman/woman's name?
No

21. Do you give your mailman/woman a gift on Xmas?
No.

22. Do you have 11 toes?
Not today.

23. What is the lamest pick up line you've ever used?
Something about practicing massage.

24. Would you ever buy/use a pink pen?
Probably not

25. Would you ever buy ANYTHING pink?
Yes, but likely only for Barbie.

26. Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny?
The Mouse

27. Do you think Daffy Duck is hot?
No. You're weird.

28. Would you ever recite poetry to a girl?
Yes, I do it all the time.

29. If you HAD to, what color nail polish/lipstick would you wear?
Something that glowed under blacklight. And only at halloween.

30. Do you bite your lip when you're nervous?
I'm never nervous.

31. Would you skip school if you had a huge zit between your eyes on picture day?
No, I'd wear sunglasses.

32. Do tight jeans make guys look gay?
None of my gay friends are gauche enough to wear tight jeans.

33. How do you take mascara off?
By pursuading women that they are beautiful without wearing it.

34. Would a girl wearing blue/green mascara turn you on?
I'd be fascinated wondering what she looked like without it on.

35. Would you ever wear lip gloss?
Only if I dressed up like Princess Leia.

36. What's better: gummi sweet tarts or sweet tart gum?
Yeuch! They are both nasty.

37. M&Ms or Skittles?
M&Ms

38. Do you go to public places with your mom, and actually TALK to her?
Yes. But I only see her once or twice a year, so it's easy.

39. Can you climb a tree?
A tree with a lot of branches.

40. What is 1 + 1?
I have a mathematics degree. Don't insult me.

41. What is your favorite holiday?
Halloween

42. Pick one: RuPaul - Dennis Rodman
Who?

43. How old are you?
Today, 36.

44. How old do you WANT to be?
26

45. Where do you want to live?
Boson, MA. Where I do live.

46. Where do you want to go?
The Moon.

47. Who do you want to meet?
Raquel Welch

48. Do you like Kool-Aid?
Not anymore. Tang is better.

49. Does pine-sol smell good?
Yes, but I wouldn't make a Kool-Aid flavour from it.

50. What are your favorite pizza toppings?
Sausage, anchovies (but not together), olives

51. Do you like toast?
Yes, with lots of butter or cinnamon.

52. Do you still carve pumpkins?
No, I have professionals do it for me.

53. Do you still leave cookies & milk out for Santa?
No.

54. Have you lost all your baby teeth?
Yes. Both mentally and physically.

55. Have your wisdom teeth seen light yet?
Yes, briefly as the dentist took them from my mouth to the biohazard bin.

56. Clear or colored?
Huh?

57. When your dentist asked, what flavor fluoride did you pick: bubble-gum, grape, or mint?
grape

58. Where is your hand right NOW?
On the keyboard, doh!

59. What is better: your right ear or left pinky?
Left pinky. I can type without my right ear

60. Okay or O'kay?
OK

61. French poodle or french kiss?
French kisses totally rock. But I'd never French kiss a French poodle. (Bloody bog-dogs.)

62. Are 2 x 4s really 2 inches by 4 inches?
Not anymore.

63. If not, how big are they REALLY?
I don't know. I think it is lame that they were cut down.

64. Do you have a 2 x 4 or a 1 x 2?
Not on me right now

65. Do you know your parents' birthdays/ages?
Birthday, yes. Age, no.

66. Do you know your siblings birthdays/ages?
Yes.

67. Does your grandma tell you she is 29?
Not recently. She does still say she is too young to be called grandma

68. Have you ever used colored white-out?
No. I don't used colored stationary.

69. What do you think of Smurfette?
Never met her.

70. What is your favorite book?
Rimrunners, by C.J.Cherryh.

71. How does a cabin far, far away, with a fire, candles, and the one you love sound?
Wonderful.

72. Salmon or Cod?
Either, as long as their smoked.

73. Crab or Lobster?
Crab

74. What sounds better: up or down?
What goes up, must come down. So up sounds better, but down wins in the end.

75. What sounds better: sideways or side wards?
Sideways

76. Ok, NOW where is your hand?
Still on the keyboard. Do you think I type by telekinesis?

77. Describe the best day of your life.
You aren't old enough.

78. Broom or mop?
broom

79. What is your favorite word?
There are too many to choose from.

80. Free! Don't have to answer this since there is no question.
Ok...

81. What is your full name?
Joseph Moulton Jaquinta Grant

82. What do you wish your name was?
Something Imperial Roman, like Tiberius, or Trajan

83. Describe your kinkiest fantasy.
You definately aren't old enough.

84. What is the weirdest middle name you've ever heard?
Drystan

85. Are your feet the same size?
Yes.

86. Cassettes or CDs?
CDs

87. Is watching "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" a tradition in your home?
No..

88. What are your Christmas traditions?
My friend throws a solstice party every year. At home we open only one present on Christmas eve. My father usually makes omlettes on Christmas Morning.

89. How do you open your envelopes: tear or cut?
tear

90. 10 more to go, are you bored?
Don't lie. There's 410 more to go.

91. Do you like onions?
They are second only to garlic.

92. What would you name your band, if you had one?
Public Animals.

93. Have you ever worn a dress?
Just for historical purposes.

94. Did you know that if you talk into a vent, someone in a nearby room will hear you?
Yes. Got caught having sex in the basement that way once.

95. Frogs or toads?
Toads, they aren't slimy

96. Do u believe in making a wish at 11:11?
No, I never wish. I just work to make things happen the way I want.

97. 8 or 3?
8

98. How long can you hula-hoop for?
0 seconds

99. Did you know Dave is AWESOME?
Who's Dave? Who cares?

100. You made it. Do you love me now?
No.

101. Did you ever eat crayons when you were little?
No.

102. On your last birthday, what did you wish for?
You aren't old enough for that either.

103. Do you know all the words to the National Anthem?
I can hum the Irish one.

104. Is watching the Superbowl a party in your house?
Not a chance.

105.Are you going to name your son Elvis?
Oh, please!

106. If not, what?
Samuel

107. What about your daughter?
Samantha

108. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
No.

109. Do you read tabloids?
Only in the loo before using them as toilet paper

110. Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny?
Not particularly.

111. Do you like cotton candy?
Not really.

112. Do you suffer from cramps?
No.

113. Do you have that not-so-fresh feeling?
No.

114. Favorite food?
Almonds

115. What would be the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?
Give half of it away.

116. Ribbed or plain?
Which ever is my lady's pleasure

117. "Lala" or "Skittle do wup do wa"?
Aren't you a bit old for that?

118. Apple pie or cherry pie?
Cherry

119. Pepsi or Coke?
Coke

120. Strawberry or Vanilla?
Strawberry

121. Favorite movies?
Galaxy Quest, amongst others.

122. Favorite Actor?
Kermit the Frog

123. Favorite Actress?
Sigourney Weaver

124. Cheerios or corn flakes?
Cheerios

125. Panty hose or thigh-highs?
hose

126. Do you shave your legs?
Only upon request.

127. Midnight or mid-day?
midnight

128. Hope or Billy?
Huh?

129. Cottonball or Q-tip?
q-tip

130. Dry or lubricated?
Lubricated, of course. Are you mad?

131. Fast or slow?
slow

132. Hard or soft bed?
hard

133. Yogurt or ice-cream?
Yogurt

134. Spoon or fork?
fork

135. Are you crying right now?
No.

136. Fling or flick?
Fling

137. Look at your middle finger, on your right hand, what do you see?
my middle finger on my right hand

138. Look to your left, what do you see?
A computer.

139. Look to your right, what do you see?
Three more computers. And my wonderful office window that looks out over the Charles.

140. Who is at your house right now?
No one, I hope.

141. Are your legs crossed right now?
No, but my ankles are.

142. Do a few twirls, are you dizzy now?
No.

143. Favorite song?
I have several. I'm not sure I can list them all.

144. Boxers or briefs?
Briefs

145.Tootsie pops or blowpops?
tootsie pops

146. Big Red, Juicy Fruit, or Doublemint?
I don't chew

147. Do you like to fish?
Boring.

148. Is your grandpa cool?
No, he's dead.

149. Does your grandpa bore you with long stories?
Not anymore

150. Do you snore?
Seldom.

151. Describe how your breath smells right now.
It doesn't.

152. If you were a girl, would you rather be "Matilda" or "Alexis."
Matilda.

153. Does it taste good?
Yes, very good.

154. Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge?
lick

155. Do you chew on pens/pencils/--?
Only when my hands are busy

156. What is your favorite comic (like in the paper!)
Doonsbury

157. Acting class or class act?
Class act. You can never have too much class.

158. Upside-down or downside-up?
upside-down, as in pinapple and cake

159. What's up?
...

160. What does "GROWL TIGER" make you think of?
Hidden Dragons

161. What does this -> .dm,'fglkserhngjkqb; make you think of?
;lsdkf';alskdf';fjlgopweira;lz.cv,m

162. Blondes or brunettes?
There are more important things in life than hair color.

163. Push or pull?
push me, pull you

164. If a door says pull, do you automatically push?
No, but I usually don't pay attention to the sign and I do the wrong one anyway.

165. Do you even read those door things?
I guess now.

166. Do spiders scare you?
Not at all. Spiders eat flies. That is good.

167. What does?
Republicans.

168. Did you know I was scared of FROGS when I was a baby?
I feel sadness and immense pain.

169. What was your first word?
Kitty.

170. What was your first phrase?
I have no idea.

171. What can you not pronounce?
depreciate

172. Did you know my phone just rang?
It was me, why don't you pick up?

173. Is your phone ringing?
No. Otherwise I wouldn't be typing.

174. What's your phone number?
617 290 5987

175. Do you eat your toe-nails?
Eeuch!

176. Are you in drag right now?
No.

177. Wal-Mart of Kmart?
Kmart

178. Jim Carrey or Mariah Carey?
Jim Carrey

179. How many REAL push-ups can you do?
One

180. How many fake push-ups can you do?
Three

181. Go run a mile. You have ten minutes. -- Are you tired now?
No. I didn't do it. I don't take orders from just anyone.

182. Does your bike have 2 wheels?
I don't have a bike anymore.

183. Are they flat?
n/a

184. Can you do a hand-stand?
I haven't tried since I was ten.

185. Front or back?
Front is more interesting, back is sexier.

186. Walk backwards for 5 steps. Stop. Turn around. What time is it?
2:29pm

187. Are you on fire right now?
No.

188. If I give you a piece of paper, what are the odds of you not eating it?
pretty high

189. Sprite or 7-up?
Sprite

190. Mug Root beer or Dr. Pepper?
Dr. Pepper.

191. Bambi or Thumper?
Bambi

192. Do you think Flower is hot?
No. I don't off on cartoons.

193. If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you?
No.

194. Would you lick Prince's feet for $5?
Not a chance.

195. Do you know there are people who would do that for free?
Yes, and there are support groups for them.

196. Umm. can you count how many questions are left?
yes

197. Is your left pinky right-handed?
No.

198. 5+7+8-1234569%555x3=?
-699.4611898

199. If you had 5 dollars, went to the store to buy 1 apple for 50 cents, but they were out, how many apples would you have?
Depends on how many apples I had at home.

200. Do you know how many calories you burn when you do the wild thing?
It depends on how long you do the wild thing for!

201. How do you spell Czechoslovakia?
Czech Republic and Slovakia

202. Can you burp whenever you want?
No

203. Will you call me?
What's your number?

204. What is the corniest pick-up line you've ever HEARD?
Let's do breakfast! Will I call you, or nudge you?

205. When you sit are you actually standing?
Uh, no.

206. Spit or swallow? I mean gum :P.
Swallow.

207. When it's time for you to go to bed, do you go or stay up talking to me?
I usually go, unless you are worth it.

208. Did you know Mariah Carey rulez?
Rulez where?

209. How old were you when you were 12?
A lot younger than I am today.

210. On a good day how many tootsie pops can you eat?
1

211. On a bad?
0

212. X-Men or Power Rangers?
Neither

213. Go into a crowded public place.. try to bite your ear and hit your chest.. What happens?
I take the 5th.

214. Do people give you money?
All the time. Usually their rent money.

215. Pizza or squid?
Pizza

216. Love or war?
Love

217. What's your favorite sense: touch, sight, hearing, smelling, or taste? and why?
Touch, it is the best for sharing.

218. If you could relive one day of your life, what day, and why?
That's a bit too personal for a web page.

219. Shake or stir?
Stir.

220. Pen or pencil?
Pen

221. On or off?
On

222. Ribbit or croak?
Croak. Ribbit isn't a word.

223. Comb or brush?
Brush

224. Sitting: indian-style or on your knees.
Indian-style, I don't care if it isn't "PC" by someone's wild definition.

225. What do you call them: Bangs or fringe?
Fringe

226. How long are yours?
Too long

227. How long is it?
I haven't measured since I was 14.

228. Will you please send me your picture?
Beg me.

229. A large group of friends or a best friend?
Both!

230. Nick or Shawn?
Sean

231. Lori or Kim?
Kim

232. Laurie or Lori?
Lori

233. Chris or Kris?
Chris

234. Who is the most perverted person you've ever met?
There was this directory in the Japanese office...

235. Why?
Why not?

236. Who is the dorkiest person you've ever met?
I shouldn't give her name.

237. Why?
No social skills.

238. Would you consider yourself: wild or mild?
Wild, but only in contorlled circumstances.

239. Would you consider yourself: shy, fly, high, or dry?
fly

240. Would you consider yourself: bad, rad, mad, or sad? (ok these are lame so what :P)
All in moderation

241. Wind, water, or fire?
water

242. Earth or sky?
sky

243. Iced or hot?
iced

244. Mocha or regular?
Yeuch, I hate coffee.

245. Would you like fries with that?
What do you think I am? A UCD graduate?

246. Single or double?
single

247. Mild or hot sauce?
fire

248. What do you think about guns?
There is seldom a need for one

249. What color is your hand?
tan

250. Do you like being called nice?
Yes.

251. Are you right-faced?
I'm certianly not wrong faced.

252. If you were a frog would you eat flies?
Yes, I'm a slave to the dominant paradigm

253. Do you eat flies already?
Not if I can help it.

254. If you were a cat would you eat rats?
I'd bite their heads off with great relish. But I don't think I'd eat them.

255. Do you have a pet rat?
No.

256. Name your pets.
My cat growing up was 'Lady'. The two cats I've had since there were Aisha (she who must be obeyed) and Molly.

257. Do you love your pets?
I loved the ones I had deeply.

258. Are you an exclamation kind of person or a period?
What! do! you! think!

259. Do you love me (question mark)
Love is not so easily attained.

260. VHS or hi-8?
VHS

261. What is better: sand or dirt?
Sand.

262. What is better: walks on the beach with sand flying at you or walks in the mountains with killer squirrels?
Killer squirrels.

263. Are you scared of small animals?
No.

264. Alvin, Simon, or Theodore?
Simon.

265. Leave-in or Rinse-out?
Rinse-out

266. Straight, waves, or curls?
Waves.

267. Who is your favorite power ranger?
shoot me

268. Who is your favorite smurf?
shoot me now

269. Who is your favorite GI Joe?
I don't play with GI Joe

270. Do you love Optimus Prime?
No

271. How did Optimus Prime die in Transformers - the movie?
Horribly, I hope.

272. Did you watched Pee Wee's Playhouse when you were little?
Nope.

273. Would you watch it now if it was still on?
Not a chance!

274. How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?
Never tried.

275. Will the world ever know?
Not if I have any choice in the matter. It would deny the universal quest for individual self experience.

276. Did you have to go ask Owl to find out?
No, I asked Melissa.

277. Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Kanga, Roo, Piglet, Eeyore, Rabbit, or Owl?
Eeyore

278. Was Winnie The Pooh better as a cartoon or puppets?
Cartoon

279. Have you ever been to Disneyland?
Yes

280. Have you ever been to Disneyworld?
Many, many times.

281. If not, do you want to? If yes, do you want to go again?
Absolutely!

282. Have you ever been out of the country?
I've spent half my life out of the country.

283. If so, where?
Ireland, mostly

284. Do you like where you live?
Mostly.

285. Do a cart-wheel. Was that fun?
I'm not as flexible as I once was.

286. Count your fingers. How many do you have?
8

287. How many times has Wile E. Coyote been squished?
Too many.

288. Do you secretly wish the road-runner would get caught?
No, I'm pretty open about it.

289. Who is better: Sylvester or Tweety?
Sylvester

290. Is your room messy right now?
My room is very clean. I've got a party at my place tomorrow.

291. Count your fingers again. How many do you have now?
8

292. Are you sure you counted correctly?
yes

293. Do you have a thing for Peter Cottontail?
No

294. Have you ever been in love with a cartoon character?
No.

295. What is your favorite TV show?
Millennium, but it got cancelled.

296. Who is your favorite cartoon character?
Rei

297. Who is your favorite TV character?
Frank Black.

298. What is your favorite awards show?
The Oscars are great for dishing clothes.

299. Do you think you are going to be famous one day?
Yes, one way or another.

300. If so, for what? If no, why not?
Youngest President of the United States

301. What was the last certificate/award you got for?
I got a certificate in Leadership and Influencing Skills.

302. Are you obsessed with sports?
Quite the opposite

303. What is your favorite sport?
Heavy Weapon Fighting

304. Do you watch or play that sport?
Yes, I'm a squire.

305. What is your favorite basketball team?
None

306. What is your favorite baseball team?
None

307. What is your favorite hockey team?
None

308. What is your favorite football team?
None

309. Favorite players?
I don't care

310. What is the most boring thing to watch on TV?
Golf.

311. Do you watch golf?
I'd gnaw off my own leg first.

312. Who is your favorite golfer?
A dead golfer.

313. If you said you weren't bored before, are you now? If yes, SHUSH!
SUSHI.

314. What are you the King of?
The Road.

315. Can you name all the characters on the Simpsons?
No. Don't watch it.

316. What is the bartenders name?
Moe

317. What is the quickie-mart's owner's name?
No idea

318. Who is the police chief?
Dunno

319. What is your school called?
Dublin University of Trinity College Dublin

320. What grade are you in?
I already have my BA.

321. What are your school colors?
Depends on if you are an undergrad or a graduate.

322. What is your school mascot?
They don't do that sort of thing.

323. What clubs are you in?
The Society for Creative Anachronism.

324. Do you have a specific person who is your school mascot?
Not in school.

325. If yes, what is his/her name and what do they wear? If no, you should.
Should not!

326. How many teachers do you have?
Life is my teacher

327. What is your favorite subject?
Heh, heh.

328. Why?
Do I really ahve to explain that?

329. What is your worst subject?
Life.

330. Why?
You can't repeat it.

331. What do you wish you had done in the past, but didn't?
There was a lot of women I should have chatted up.

332. What do you wish you hadn't done?
Given up hope in myself.

333. What do you wish for?
To live forever.

334. What are your goals?
To love forever.

335. What do you plan to be?
The President of the United States

336. Are you going to college (now or future?)
Been there, done that.

337. Did middle school suck?
Big time.

338. Did elementary school suck?
Not really.

339. Did you call elementary school something else? (grade school, basic?)
No.

340. How many people go to your school?
Not with you on that.

341. How many did you wish go to your school?
I don't go to school.

342. Do you hate anyone?
Not personally. Other than Bush.

343. Do you love anyone?
Only in a sisterly way.

344. Do you have a friend that you wish wasn't?
No.

345. Do you read your horoscope?
Never.

346. Do you believe in that stuff?
Nope.

347. Whipped cream or fudge syrup?
Fudge

348. Please tell that someone that you love, just what you're thinking of, if tomorrow never comes!
I'll do that, if tomorrow never comes.

349. Do you pick up pennies off the ground, if you find them?
If I'm not in a hurry.

350. Have you ever found someone's wallet?
yes

351. Did you give it back?
Yes!

352. What is the most money you've ever found at once?
$20

353. Who is your favorite model?
Erica Eleniac

354. Do you think women with a lot of makeup on are prettier?
barf! no

355. Do you want to be a model?
I'd do it. NOt tha tanyone would hire me.

356. Can you walk the runway?
They don't make heels in my size.

357. Have you ever pretended you could?
No

358. Are you too sexy for your clothes?
Alas, no.

359. Have you ever gone out with more than one person at a time? If so, what happened?
I dated someone who was poly, though I wasn't. It didn't work out, but for other reasons.

360. Do you read other people's mail?
When I get the chance.

361. Are you Curious George?
No, I'm Jubilant Joe.

362. Do you like monkeys?
yes

363. Do you look like a monkey?
Only when I don't trim my beard.

364. Are yawns contagious?
yes

365. Does yawning turn you on?
Not if I'm making love with the person at the time.

366. Do you like Alanis Morissette?
yes

367. Do you think she is pretty?
No, but she can play god in Kevin Smith films anytime.

368. Do you think she is a good singer?
She's OK.

369. What type of fetishes do you have?
I've tried many things. Nothing particularly stirs me, other than what stirs my partner.

370. Do you wear socks on in bed?
no

371. Do socks turn you on?
Uh, no.

372. What do your weirdest socks look like?
They're green. Got them on an Aer Linugs business flight.

373. Do your socks have holes in them?
Only in the tops. So I can put them on.

374. Do you want a Volkswagen?
Sure!

375. What is that kind of phone called with the round dialer thing that they don't make now?
Rotary

376. Do your socks smell?
Not if I can help it.

377. Do you smell?
Not if I can help it.

378. What do you smell like?
Sandalwood.

379. Will what you smell like make me puke?
Not unless you have a bad reaction to sandalwood.

380. What cologne do your wear?
Sandalwood, when Ican get it.

381. Or do you wear perfume?
Technically there isn't any difference. Just marketing.

382. Does it smell better or worse than you?
We are one.

383. Do you like CK-1 or CK-Be?
No

384. Do you wish you were a woman?
I wish I could switch gender at will.

385. So what's your foot doing right now?
Holdin gup my leg.

386. Look up, what's there?
ceiling tiles

387. Do you have cable?
Yes

388. Do you have extended-cable?
Right now, the company made a mistake, and we have every channel broadcast. Even pay-per-view and the naughty channels!

389. Do you think the word "HyPeRnEsS" sounds cool?
No

390. Do you have caller-ID?
I do on my Cell phone.

391. Do you have call-waiting?
Yes, but it confuses me

392. Do you have 2 phone lines?
No, but I have a land line and a cell phone.

393. Do you think the phone company rips you off?
Regularly.

394. Do you like your mom?
Yes, other than when she threw out all my stuff animals.

395. Do you like your dad?
Yes, when he isn't acting the total pater familis. (Which, sadly, isn't often.)

396. Do you like your siblings?
Very much so.

397. Now that you've been filling this out for a while, do you still remember what 1+1 = ?
Yes

398. Do you have to use the bathroom now?
No

399. When was the last time you did?
Twenty questoins ago.

400. Do you have a guy bathroom or girl bathroom?
We have a guy floor and a girl floor. Each floor has a bathroom. But the guy's got the one with the sit-down tub, and the double sinks. Go figure.

401. Are you the God of Kinkiness?
Not usually.

402. What is your bathroom's color theme?
Black and white.

403. What room are you in now?
My office

404. What color shows up there the most?
Off-white.

405. Do you know who Keroppi is?
Nope

406. Do you know what Sanrio is?
Yep, I have a Hello Kitty background on MyYahoo.

407. Can you wink with either eye?
Yes.

408. Can you roll your tongue?
Yes.

409. Do you have a chin-cleft?
No.

410. Do you like MTV?
Not particularly

411. Do you like Beavis and Butthead?
Not at all.

412. Are you double-jointed?
No.

413. When was the last time you went to a picnic?
Last summer.

414. Do you like parks?
Yes

415. Do you like hiking?
Yes

416. Do you like kids?
Some of them

417. Are you a kid?
Only on Monday nights.

418. Do you want kids?
Sure

419. Do you want kids now?
No

420. How many kids do you want?
2

421. Do you want to be a single parent?
I don't care.

422. Are you going Easter egg hunting?
No

423. Do you hide Easter eggs from yourself?
No.

424. Do you hide gifts/money from yourself so you find them later and are surprised?
No. My memory is too good for that.

425. Do you like your memories?
yeah, most of them

426. Have you ever been digging in your backyard (if you have one) and found something interesting?
I found a concrete slab in my last house.

427. If so, what? If no, start digging!
It really wasn't that interesting.

428. Did you know my phone just rang again?
So it did. I have a message waiting.

429. Now is yours ringing?
Nothing came in while I answered that message.

430. What is your favorite radio station?
NPR

431. Do you know what a jingle is?
Yes

432. Does your radio station have one?
Probably

433. Have you memorized all their commercials?
No, I don't listen to it much.

434. Do they play as many commercials as they play music?
It is mostly talk.

435. What kind of music do they play?
Everything

436. Are you hungry right now?
A little

437. Do you know of all the radio stations in your area?
Almost none.

438. Do you not even care?
I do not even care.

439. When were you the most surprised last/ever?
This monday

440. Why? What happened?
It wasn't plesant. I don't want to go there. Even though it turned out not to be as bad as it first appeared.

441. Uh oh. My phone rang again. Did you know that time?
No.

442. Do you like it or hate it when people call?
I love it. My cell phone plays 'Ode to Joy' when it rings.

443. Are you psychic?
Seldom.

444. Are you psycho?
No, I keep myself in firm control.

445. Do you like Beck?
No.

446. Do you have 2 turntables and a microphone?
No

447. Do you want to be a DJ?
It doesn't pay as much as I make now.

448. Are you a DJ?
No

449. Do you know "where it's at?"
Yes, but I wouldn't tell you.

450. Where do you want to be right now?
In the arms of my lover.

451. Make a fist. Do you feel manly now?
Not particularly.

452. Do you like school?
Yes.

453. Do you bathe daily?
When time permits.

454. Weekly?
That's just wrong to wait that long.

455. Monthly?
Don't be disgusting.

456. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
Get dressed and go to work.

457. Do you like waking up?
Only if I've slept long enough.

458. Are you a morning person?
I'm neither a morning nor a night person.

459. Would you let a girl paint your nails if she asked?
If she asked nicely.

460. Do you do it yourself?
I did last Halloween.

461. Do your grandparents live in a cabin?
No, they live in a condo in Boca Raton.

462. Do you want to be the Unibomber junior?
No

463. Are you scared of the Easter Bunny?
I'm scared of Easter Commercialism.

464. What about the Tooth Fairy?
What about him?

465. Do you like sitting on Santa's lap?
Is she cute?

466. When was the last time you did?
Long, long ago.

467. Would you sit on Santa's lap for some silly putty?
Probably not.

468. Do you have a Ken doll?
No

469. Do you like him?
I don't have a Ken doll.

470. Do you want Barbie?
I go through several a year.

471. Do you still play with GI Joes?
No

472. Are transformers cool?
No, they're dumb.

473. Do you love A Christmas Story?
Do you mean 'A Christmas Carol'? Dickens is depressing.

474. Is it time to slam down?
Probably not.

475. Does A Wonderful Life make you sick?
Not physically.

476. Do you like glue?
It is good for sticking things.

477. What is your favorite recreational sport?
Heavy Weapon's fighting.

478. Do you have a car?
No

479. What kind?
n/a

480. What kind of car do you want?
Mitsubishi Eclipse

481. Have you ever swam in the Nile River?
No, but I paddled in it

482. Do you have a thing for alligators?
Not particularly.

483. Are you a cat-man or a dog-man?
I'm a cat-guy.

484. Would you rather go to church or pet your dog?
Go to church; I dislike dogs.

485. What is the plural form of "SWAN?"
Swans.

486. Do you like geese?
Geese are too greasy. Turkey is too dry. What is one to do for poultry?

487. Do you like hot dogs?
Marginally.

488. What about hamburgers?
Yes.

489. Ketchup, mayo, or mustard?
mustard and mayo

490. What is your favorite letter?
j

491. Cup or glass?
glass

492. How many calories are in one 8 OZ. serving of Western Family Strawberry-Banana lowfat yogurt?
no clue

493. Are your feet cold right now?
No

494. Do you believe in aliens?
yes

495. Have you ever seen a UFO?
Yes, but I think I was mistaken.

496. What is your newspaper called?
The Irish Times

497. Do you enjoy work?
Sort of

498. Do you consider yourself smart?
Yes

499. Do you like your ears?
I don't dislike them.

500. Do you know what?
It's over?